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Haxan:
Witchcraft Through the Ages
Narrated by William
S. Burroughs. Directed by Ben Christensen.
In
terms of immortal cult flix, they just don't get much stranger,
weirder and wildly wonderful than HAXAN aka WITCHCRAFT
THROUGH THE AGES (1922). And whereas 1970's drive-in terror
movies were always willing to hype how their flick had already
been "banned in over 37 countries!" HAXAN actually
had the rare honor of being deemed so offensive that it was
effectively suppressed by the outraged Catholic Church from
broad European distribution for much of the director's life.
Part of the power of HAXAN is allowing yourself to
be amazed at the sheer visual audacity it displays. Because
of its antiquity, you expect reverence and oblique criticism;
instead, you get bawdy  images
of women literally kissing the Devil's arse and William S.
Burroughs delightedly sparing no grisly detail in recapitulating
the Church's recorded evil in dealing with suspected "witches
and converts of Satan."
Burroughs probably enjoyed HAXAN's demented imagery
as much as the expose of which
threat was actually worse in hindsight: an unseen devil in
the dark or an Inquisitor setting about his grisly task in
broad daylight. The eerie, flickering images of various grotesque
hell beings and orgiastic covens of  witches
is still shocking and horrific today. From this, one can only
speculate how much deeper the psychological "cratering" HAXAN
caused back in 1922. Just imagine the Pope and pals first
viewing of what amounted to the first cinematic "gotcha" movie.
At least Christensen didn't call Mary "Rosebud." ;) --
Notes by R. U. Holden.
What
Critics Say:
"Even today,
HAXAN is highly entertaining. Full of innovative special
effects, naked women and child  sacrifices,
HAXAN would go well flashed on the wall of a rave party.
That is quite an accomplishment considering this movie is
78 years old. " -- ENTERTAINMENT INSIDERS
"This stunning film has survived the years and this version
carried the marvelous narration of William Burroughs,
surely the original model for Stephen Hawkings' voice box."
-- FILM FOUR, UK
"Alternating between hallucinatory nightmare, black humor
and straight-faced documentation, the film is never less than
visually stunning and contains more imaginative visuals than
any ten Hollywood blockbusters combined." -- MONDO
DIGITAL |
Hercules,
The Mighty
Voiced by Jimmy Tapp, Helene Nickerson & Gerry Bascombe.
Written by George Kashdan and Jack E. Miller. Produced by
Adventure Cartoon Productions in association with Trans-Lux.
Colorful
and pithy to the point of absurdity, THE MIGHTY
HERCULES is a real "find" if you're a
fan from childhood who's searched the heights of Mount Olympus
or the depths of Haydes looking for these rarities, or whether
you're merely curious to see what vintage 'toons from an
era many when t.v. was actually watched via airwaves instead
of digital cable, satellite, the net, etc.
The
absurdity of MIGHTY HERCULES is not merely
the hyper-compressed pre-A.D.D.-inducing MTV pace -- blistering
even by today's sugar-coated standards at a mere five
minutes per show -- but also the scarcity of innovation
between shows in either character advancement, narrative
complexity, or even simple animation daring.
Like
a staid porno loop that refuses to be anything other than
what it was 'meant to be' to the viewer, MIGHTY
HERCULES stays its narrow course, never deviating
one iota from each show's truncated formula: enter the
bad guy, enter Hercules to kick his ass, and there goes
Hercules, running away without explanation, at the end
of each and every show, literally screaming vain odes
to his own greatness!
 I
mean, given he's a bastard son of Zeus, you can almost
forgive his collasal ego. But his insipid narcissim --
Hercules never doubts the rightness
of his mission or vision like a lot of other smug, Dynastic
NeoCons -- makes it a tough act to
forgive, indeed. His boot-licking little Pan wannabe sidekick
who can't help but repeat literally every sentence he
utters twice without literal exception ("Without
literal exception! Without literal exception!") is
equally  clinical
(probably latent schizophrenic).
That's
not even "going beneath the surface" to deconstruct
MIGHTY HERCULES's oppressed sexuality.
Given Herc flirts with his steady Helena but constantly
"runs away" at the moment he conquers the danger
and leaves her forever unfulfilled, the diagnosis is obvious.
Once he's defeated the 'danger' in his manly way -- i.e.,
defeated his repressed homosexuality in his own subconscious
mind -- he feels liberated to "gayly dash away"
from his former, repressive hetero identity. And unlike
that sap Kent who keeps protecting his cover, Mighty Herc
is forever herein madly dashing back into the closet wherenever
the mood
strikes him. Talk about your 'girlie man' complex!
This
means that at the end of almost every single "episode"
(and I mean that in the clinical sense of the word), poor
Hunk-ules 
abandons Helena because there is no longer any excuse
not to perform. But rather than admit
that the time to prove his real manhood is at
hand, Herc always 'comes' up with an excuse to forgo coitus
and in fact any form of intimacy with her, dashing away
whilst expecting his Greatness to forgo a good, heroic
screwing.
Okay,
you're groaning (which is more than Helena can boast),
but hopefully, not as you lustfully gaze at MIGHTY
HERCULES's
well-defined thighs. After all, we're not the first to
note the essential fact Hercules is rendered as the animated
version of Rock Hudson incarnate, right down to his "aw
shucks, ma'am, I'm jest a country demi-God" drawl!
The
show was available in either a thirty-minute version or
in five-minute installments. The latter was the preferred
format and how most saw THE MIGHTY HERCULES,
which was wise: more than three episodes in a row and
you're likely to have a near-catatonic episode. No joke,
the stupor induced leaves us to issue this stern warning:
keep the electrical plug nearby, preferrably in hand but
insulated, so you can have an 'escape switch' to free
yourself in case of emergency. The theme song alone is
highly addictive. --
Notes by Ben Tramer.
What
Critics Say:
"I have to credit the 1963 MIGHTY
HERCULES cartoon for sparking my lifelong interest
in mythology." -- Ron Allen, COMIC BOOK RESOURCES
"Jimmy [Tapp, voice of Hercules] is now 86... He
had a daily radio program into his early 80's and is now
retired." -- TOONTRACKER
"From the Johnny Mathis-style rendering of the very
gay theme song ('softness in his eyes/iron in his thighs'),
to the musclebound but hairless Hercules -- this had to
be a huge inspiration to SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE's Ambiguously
Gay Duo." -- TV PARTY
|
Horror
Express
Aka Panic
in the Trans-Siberian Train. With Chris Lee, Peter
Cushing & Telly Savalas. Directed by Eugenio Martín.
 Basically
an example of the old international style film financed
"spectacle" (in this case Spanish production companies
with English monies), HORROR EXPRESS (1972)
exceeds typical results from this crap shoot method of filmmaking
by actually managing to hold its cast and crew together
despite language barriers and nevertheless emerging as a
modestly entertaining sf/horror genre blender of a movie.
The story kicks in gear when Christopher Lee's archeologist
character uncovers a frozen primate in the Siberian wastelands.
Realizing the huge, Bigfoot-like creature is a zoological
find, Lee arranges to have the specimen shipped aboard the
famed Trans Siberian Express in order to secure it for himself
and England all that much the faster. In fact, the disdain
Lee expresses for
every "non-Englishman" in his midst is outrageously
racist, sexist and every other '-ist,' which is why it is
such fun to watch -- it's not the glorification but the
embodiment of such sniveling chauvinistic chivalry that
accurately exposes his pomposity for what it is -- ego self-aggrandizement
to a level which is life threatening to all aboard.
Not unlike THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD set on a train,
the frozen Beastie soon thaws and is on the loose, unbeknownst
to the cast of international passengers. Well, unknown 'til
the Monster begins sucking the essences of their brains
straight out of their eyeballs in an unforgettably cheesy
and yet also eerily effective effect that is used throughout
 the
flick. This 'burning eyeball' motif literally keeps riffing
on itself until finally it is used in the finale to show
the activation of a whole horde of Russian zombies attacking
the remaining, horrified humans aboard. HORROR
EXPRESS has many unusually unexpected narrative
twists, as well, not the least of which is holding the introduction
of Telly Savalas until very late in the picture.
Stylistically, one of the nice touches used by the director
is to shoot many of the terror and suspense sequences (and
plenty abound) using silent film techniques. This makes
the  otherwise
obvious dubbing on non-English speaking actors insignificant
in terms of reduction of believability, and renders the
horror sequences suddenly much more potent than the 'dramatic
acting' scenes have lead you to expect. No doubt, though
it mostly relies on off-screen space and seeing only a hairy
hand here and there at first, HORROR EXPRESS
can also suddenly go for the jugular, making it a thrilling
but lurid mixtures of horror and shocks in equal doses.
The haunting, lyrical 'beast ballad'
that accompanies the monster's appearances ala John William's
score to equal effect in JAWS is truly successful, and is
part of why the flick maintains an eerie mood despite lapses
in logic, melodramatic interludes, etc.
The producers of HORROR EXPRESS were wise
when it came to putting every dime of their modest budget
onto the screen. They began by buying the extensive leftover
miniature trains and interior train sets from the mammoth
production NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA, which had just been made
in Spain. Since in those days leftovers from a film almost
always wound up in a trash bin, the NICHOLAS producers who
sold the "toy trains" must have thought they were
getting quite a bargain, too!
The excellent photography on display, however, is no accident
and is decidedly not a leftover from the NICHOLAS crew.
Director  Eugenio
Martín
marshals the good cast and clever script into a fun, suspenseful
outing. In fact, there is a kind of loving, almost OLD DARK
HOUSE'ish quality about HORROR EXPRESS
that makes it alternately horrific and then campily comic
in an overall highly successful blending. There are missteps,
to be sure, but at least it rockets along, and it is clear
everyone is having a good time.
One last poignant note to add, however, to an otherwise
happy outing. Peter Cushing had just lost his lifelong wife
to cancer shortly before production, and for once in his
otherwise sterling career, he was at a loss to know whether
or not to go on with HORROR EXPRESS, fearing
he wouldn't have the personal strength to summon a professional
performance. In fact, Cushing arrived on the set before
shooting began and confided to Christopher Lee he intended
to walk before he risked the picture. To his everlasting
credit and in a gentlemanly manner, Lee simply talked
so enthusiastically about working with Cushing in front
of the director when next all three were alone that Cushing
agreed to appear mostly to avoid further embarrassment.
One senses that Lee recognized his good friend's best therapy
would not to be home alone and grieving, but to carry on
in the "stiff upper-lip" Brit tradition.
Judging by the results, Lee was right: Cushing and Lee spark
together as they do in few other outings, mainly because
in too many other outings they are adversaries instead of
compatriots far from home, sharing equal screen time, as
they do in the moody, atmospheric mini-classic HORROR
EXPRESS. --
Notes by R.U. Holden.
 What
Critics Say:
"Goofy as hell, and not always aware
of that, HORROR EXPRESS nevertheless almost
always entertains. Check it out." -- Brian Wright,
CALVACADE OF SCHLOCK
"HORROR EXPRESS is one of those classic
horror gems from the 1970s ." -- HORROR DVD REVIEWS
"This film was a staple of my childhood. It's one of those
movies that I watched in the daytime, but which still terrified
me. Sure the plot is convoluted as hell, but HORROR
EXPRESS is a ride I never mind taking." -- THE
TERROR TRAP
"HORROR
EXPRESS manages to mix the bloodletting
of a Spanish horror movie with the Gothic atmosphere of
Hammer into a final fusion of science fiction and horror.
" -- BRITMOVIE |
 Human
Vapor
Directed by Ishiro
Honda. Special Efx by Eiji Tsuburaya.
HUMAN
VAPOR
(1960) is an obscure work, probably so only because the creative
team was also responsible for some of the greatest monster
flicks ever (GODZILLA, MATANGO and RODAN, to name but a few)
and so it therefore lives in those towering beasties' shadows.
Too, because it is more akin to THE FLY (a visual inspiration)
in terms of intelligent science fiction versus 'sci-fi' destruction
ala THE MYSTERIANS, audiences didn't respond with the same
enthusiasm upon initial release for this newer, more realistic
attempt. As a result, it remained a distinct sub-genre apart.
Nonetheless, VAPOR is a minor gem which might
be regarded as a crowning achievement for lesser directors
and remains undeservedly forgotten.
 Although
it's central character is not a 'monster' in the conventional
sense complete with oversized rubber suit, he is monstrous.
He's a man -- but not. After agreeing to guinea pig for a
research scientist, this "Astro Man" gains the ability to
 transform
into a gaseous state of being and still remain conscious.
Result? Megalomania sets in and he soon believes his powers
make him beyond the pale of mortal weaponry, above the laws
of human nature, morality, and ethics. You know, sorta like
Dick Cheney and your average CEO.
Yet, his primary and overwhelming motivation involves a deep
love for a real and very beautiful woman who, quite importantly,
is an artist for whom he secretly commits numerous evil acts.
The humanizing contradiction of his plight not only reminds
of the Claude Rains starrer THE INVISIBLE MAN, but also of
the 'dangers' of stepping outside the rigid Japanese caste
system (albeit disguised in filmic metaphor). For as soon
as our 'hero' decides he is going to be an individual (i.e.
Western) rather than Japanese, he is surely doomed. In this
sense, VAPOR has a distinct noir sensibility.
HUMAN VAPOR is not your ordinary monster
flick, nor is it ordinary Sci Fi. It not only relies upon
prevailing Japanese horror themes, but also has touches of
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA in the love story and as previously mentioned
THE INVISIBLE MAN. It's an offbeat film, given it origin during
a period wherein the same guys were making Godzilla-type stuff;
in that sense alone, it must have been creatively refreshing
for them.
Watching VAPOR, MATANGO and a small handful
of other films from this team, one can almost sense that it
is this more minor key material that truly inspired them as
artists, even though they made more money, and certainly achieved
greater notoriety, by working on the big-name monsters. If
you liked eating the MUSHROOMS that ATTACKed, try inhaling
deeply the VAPOR, dude. ;) --
Notes by H.R. Holden.
What
Critics Say:
"3 1/2 stars out of 4... vapor man's misty
face is a cool effect."-- Paul Petroskey, TERRORGUM
"4 out of 5 stars." -- Visitors' Voting ,FJMOVIE.com
Like this flick? See Also: GOKE,
BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL;
X
FROM OUTER SPACE |
|
Reviews:
H
